Friday, 30 November 2012

Cold, St Andrew and Picking berries!!!

Good day interweb and a blooming cold and frosty one it is, the sound of car windows been cleared with scrapers this morning did I must admit bring a warm feeling to my cold heart as I lay in my warm bed safe in the knowledge that I didn’t have to get up and go out there.
I occasionally take a look back at what I was rambling on about this time last year and it was Christmas and the whole Christian bit about Jesus etc.
Today is St Andrews day so Happy St Andrews day to my Scottish friends.

  St. Andrew is said to have been responsible for spreading the tenets of the Christian religion though Asia Minor and Greece. Tradition suggests that St. Andrew was put to death by the Romans in Patras, by being pinned to a cross, something the romans were quite good at, just watch the Life of Brian.
The diagonal shape of this cross is said to be the basis for the Cross of St. Andrew which appears on the Scottish Flag.
St. Andrews bones were entombed, and around 300 years later were moved by Emperor Constantine to his new capital Constantinople. Legend suggests that a Greek Monk was warned in a dream that St. Andrews remains were to be moved and was directed by an angel to take those of the remains which he could to the "ends of the earth" for safe-keeping. Fancy taking them to Scotland, I know it’s a bit wet and dreary up there at times but the ends of the earth is a bit much.
Anyway St. Rule dutifully followed these directions, removing a tooth, an arm bone, a kneecap and some fingers from St. Andrew's tomb and transported them to Scotland where he was shipwrecked and came ashore at a Pictish settlement on the East Coast of Scotland and this later became St. Andrews.
I have over the last few days been thinking about us as a race, humans. Were not very good are we really. I mean I have a bad back and have had to have it operated on. I think that this could be partially to do with the fact that I sit at a desk in front of a computer for hours a day followed by sitting in front of a TV playing video games. I wasn’t designed to do that and neither were you. Evolution has worked it’s magic on us and we have been designed to wander about picking berries and running away from the occasional lion or other beasty with big teeth.
We have also developed a strong desire to blow the hell out of each other. This is most prevalent in the middle east at the moment, I said last year that there was still much evil in the minds of men and I stand by that comment. Im also sure that it is just the cynic in me that thinks that whilst these oil rich countries beat the hell out of each other as we sit back and watch, we will then just roll in when there is no resistance left and take the spoils of a war that was not ours. 

Anyway interweb as I contemplate what will happen when the universe reaches it’s expansive maximum (sounds like a well endowed Roman) and either tears the space time or begins to collapse back in on itself I will leave you with some drivel,
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion, and remember interweb, not everything in life makes you stronger. It is however possible to survive, to run away, to skip the test, to chicken out. Or at least to ask for some help.

Tuesday, 27 November 2012

Painkillers, Mars and plastic!!! lalala hipho gogo tipchpow happy days!

Good day to you interweb, I trust you are well and that everything is functioning as it should.
The weather outside my office window is a pale shade of shite as ever and the dull grey leaden sky that stretches to the horizon is not particularly inspiring.
I have been trying my best not to take pain killers for the hole in my back but this morning I’m afraid I have succumb to the pain and insistence from friends to take some, so dihydrocodeine and diclofenac have been consumed and as such I take no responsibility for the following.
During my interludes from blowing stuff up and shooting things in an ever increasing rage due to lag on Blops2 I have had moments of thoughtfulness, (that said last nights connections late on were great, went positive in every game)
We as a race seem consumed by a desire to go to far flung planets in some sort of misguided need due to ever dwindling resources on our own.
If we look at the likelihood of this actually happening in the near future we are going to be very disappointed.
The nearest and probable most likely planet that we will travel to in the future would be Mars. 

 Which varies it’s distance from earth due to it’s orbit but in March was 62.6 million miles away.
 Now lets face it that ain't going to happen in the near future is it? and lets also face the fact that the most hospitable and pleasant part of Mars is far less pleasant than the worst  most inhospitable place on our own planet, and yes that does include London.
It is my belief that we may be looking in the wrong place.
Around 75% of our planet is made up of water, it isn’t called the blue planet for nothing.
 We already have the technology to explore our oceans and yet few people are doing so, masses of untapped resources lie in the ocean and beneath it.
A few forward thinking people high in the government of some countries have come to realise this and as such I think have been busy planting their respective countries flags beneath the ice caps etc, or was that a dream? It’s difficult to tell. Ill google it later and see,
Anyway it’s much more likely that we will explore our oceans than deep space anytime soon so hopefully I will soon be able to say “told you so” and have a feeling of great self righteousness.
 However I am fully aware that a lot of the time being right is often not enough.
Oh get me, can I get any further up there, lol.
A big problem that not too many people are aware of is the amount of crap that we actually deposit in this great untapped resource, 26 million tons of plastic alone is dumped into the oceans across the world every year.

 This plastic will eventually break down and sink to the ocean floor forming a sedimentary layer that I’m quite sure will in geology classes of the distant future be known as the Anthropocene period.
Anyway interweb I'm rambling now so as is customary I will leave you with some drivel, If a problem has no solution, it may not be a problem, but a fact, I have also found that no matter what happens in your life that it is best to keep going, you never know you may just stumble upon something. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down and remember this, Don't think there are no crocodiles because the water is calm.
Peace out yall, THE BAGSTAXXX

N.B. No opiate based painkillers were harmed during the writing of this blog post.

Saturday, 24 November 2012

Staples, jellyfish and black holes!!!!

Well good afternoon interweb, I told you that we would become reacquainted in the not too distant future due to an operation and recovery time and here we are.
Once again I shall roll and revel in your one’s and zero’s and drivel will flow from my finger tips like lightning from the sky, but enough of this frivolity.
I will now bore you briefly with the reason I have returned, I have time on my hands, this cannot end well and probably won’t but when I have time on my hands I think.
I have recently (Wednesday night) had an operation on a prolapsed disk in my spine.
I had this done in a private hospital which was I have to admit  frikking brilliant. I had my own room with flat screen TV en suite and a little buzzer which every time I pressed it a nurse arrived. How cool.
As has become custom with myself and operations I made a complete arse of myself in the recovery room and began singing songs from the Disney film Aladdin to the nurse, as if this wasn’t embarrassing enough I continued to sing all the way down the corridor back to my private room.
Maybe this is why I had a private room. They had been warned.
I have read a lot of stuff on the interweb about the operation, I have read that a lot of people whinge and whine and complain about it. All I can say is it’s the best damn thing to happen to my back ever, am I in pain? Yes I am but then so would anybody be with 12 staples in their back that look like an accident in a stationary cupboard but it is a lot less pain than the sciatic pain I was having.
Whilst I was trying to sleep after the operation an Eastern European nurse kept coming in to check my blood pressure and I wasn’t going to mess with her so I behaved and thought.
I thought about several things like the butterfly effect and how our oceans behave. Did you know that 40% of the biomass of our oceans comes in the form of jellyfish?

Whilst we may not think that they can have a great effect on the ocean itself if we sit back and look at the figures I think they have a much bigger effect than we may at first have thought. 40% of the biomass of the ocean moving, swimming wobbling. All of which creates energy, this energy is passed into the ocean and can contribute to a more violent ocean, storms tornado’s etc etc all from a wobbly little jellyfish, well from lots of wobbly jellyfish actually.
I also thought about one of my favourite subjects which is the big bang and I don’t mean the type you may get from a big Eastern European nurse either.
You see as popular understanding goes, the universe burst into existence and has been expanding ever since, just under 14 billion years ago.
Now this got me to thinking, before the universe came into being there was no time because time didn’t exist, there was matter and antimatter wobbling a bit like jellyfish come to think of it, and then matter fractionally outweighed antimatter thus we are here.

Now the thing is, this situation also exists within our universe itself. In a black hole. A black hole sucks in everything within its reach, not even light can escape its force. Time ceases to be in a black hole. Now think, all that matter, light, antimatter, energy all sucked into a black hole. What happens to it all? In my humble and some may say frikking mad eejit opinion, there could just possibly be some sort of wormhole at the other end of a black hole where just like our universe there is a mass explosion and all that matter, energy antimatter and light begins to expand into another parallel universe. The physics backs me up on this but popular rational thinking people will probably send for the men with the huggy huggy jackets and ill be locked up in an asylum with a large Eastern European nurse to look after me.
Whilst we are on the subject of universes etc I would like to point out to you all that our solar system is actually on a collision course with Andromeda.
Andromeda is 2.5 billion light years away but it is getting closer. It is like our system a spiral galaxy made up of a heck of a lot of stars. In around 3 billion years our system will collide with Andromeda, 3 trillion stars will collide to make a super galaxy and I for one would love to see that. It would make New year firework displays pale into insignificance.
Speaking of light, the day did finally break into my private room in the form of Rachel, a non Eastern European nurse, a young pretty Yorkshire lass with bits of her hair dyed purple and a little bit too much make up on but very pleasant all the same.
And so it comes to be interweb that I will leave you today with some drivel,
Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation, and the most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little.
Peace out yall, THE BAGSTAXXX