Tuesday, 31 January 2012

Jelly legs, Chefs and the wizard of oz!!!


Good afternoon interweb, anybody would think that I never get up until the afternoon if they bothered to read my blog.
It’s not true you know, I usually rouse out of my pit between 10.30 hours and midday. Or if I fall asleep on the sofa shooting stuff about the time I get cold, I then wander up to the boudoir and sleep for a few more hours till I can be arsed to drag my self out of bed and upright.
I did that this morning, I also somehow managed to persuade myself that I needed to go to the gym and that today was to be the main workout this week.
This, as it transpires was probably not the best idea I have had today.
I decided what I needed to do was to return to my circuit training. Something I have not done since the end of November. All I will say on the result of my circuit training is that the walk across the car park back to the car ( my mothers small fiat as mine is still not fixed) must have made for amusing viewing to the people on the treadmills, all finished off with me banging my head as tried to fold myself into the Fiat.
My legs have turned to some sort of liquid and developed a consciousness all of their own and really have no respect for where I want them to go or what I want them to do. They also don’t seem to get along very well and want to travel off in different directions whilst shaking in an uncontrollable fashion.
I'm currently sat in the office drinking green tea and listening to Def Leppard, a bit of a blast from the past to be honest and a time where the only thing I had to worry about was which bit of skirt to have a go at tonight. A time where money was never an issue as I had loads, a time where every day was spent in the company of very attractive ladies taking their clothes off whilst I took photographs of them and every night was spent in rock bars and rock night clubs. Loads of hair and makeup and that was just the boys. The Guns n Roses generation, wow.
 I'm older now and must confess that I am not really any wiser, I just know more stuff about the universe than I did back then.
Anyway that aside I have a bit of a gripe today, what me, complain about something, very uncharacteristic but here we go.
Chefs, now don’t get me wrong my best mate is a chef and he is not a complete twat, he occasionally has his moments but then don’t we all but as a general rule he is a top bloke.
 No it is the sort of chef that appears on television or seems to think that they are above the general person because they are a chef and they know how to cook. Well let me tell you Mr chef, Fuck off. I have yet to be served by a chef who can actually cook scrambled eggs. For fucks sake it is not hard to do. I have stopped over in some top hotels in my time and not one of their “chefs” has managed to serve me with cooked scrambled egg. It is always running off the bloody plate almost as if they had just whisked the egg up, poured it on the plate then sat it next to a radiator for ten minutes. What the hell are they trying to do give me salmonella?
I remember going to the hospital canteen one evening at about 23.30 to get a snack. “Could I have a cheese burger and chips please”
“Yes, Cheese burger and chips please chef” he bellows to his fellow chef who is stood 5 feet away. “right you are chef” his pal bellows back. They then proceed to reheat a burger that has been sat there for god only knows how long in a microwave and deep fry me some fries. Lots of “chef” this and “chef” that every time one said anything to the other. For fucks sake your microwaving me a burger and frying some fries. You don’t get staff in McDonalds shouting chef at each other really loudly when your in there do you, No so fucking stop it you twat.
Right I feel so much better for that.
Now for a review of the Wizard of Oz, 

“A pretty young girl is transported to a surreal world where she kills the first woman she meets steals her shoes and then teams up with three accomplices to kill again.”
Is it only 15.17 hours, really I'm in danger of thinking again, The universe, does it have purpose? Hmmmm, Ill get back to you on that one in the next couple of days.
Peace out y'all THE BAGSTAXXX

Monday, 30 January 2012

Cricket, Muppets and Mischief!!!


Good afternoon interweb, Yes I'm still breathing despite plans to have me toppled from the roof of a tall building, as the saying goes, “keep your friends close and your enemies even closer”
 Machiavelli said that in "The Prince" which is the definitive primer for how to be a dictator.
Some people think that it was Sun-tzu, but it wasn't he said, "Know your enemy and know yourself and you will always be victorious"
I often think that I would make a great dictator and Fi agrees. The long winter evenings simply fly past in our house as we watch border force and similar shows on the television. We have developed a little thing that we act out where when somebody is at the border trying to enter which ever country the show is showing, Fi will look at me and raise her eyebrows and I will reply with the phrase “FUCK OFF”.
She feels that I missed my calling in life and I should have worked for the immigration service. I must confess I do think it would be fun.
The whole Truck incident is becoming very tedious now and I can only relieve the tedium so much by twittering with Bumble and Abbey.
I did find it amusing that some of the doctors that I was working with Saturday night decided to not mention the cricket.
 How on earth did we manage to grasp defeat from the jaws of victory I will never know. All out for 72, what the hell were they doing? Yes Pakistan must be congratulated on some fantastic bowling but 72? Really? The number one team in the world all out for 72.
In other news MW3 still hasn’t got the latest patch for PS3 but my KDR is still on the up despite only playing objective games instead of team camp match.
Managed to get a few games in with Fox from over the pond and Bev and Maria last night. Not brilliant connections if I'm honest but then I wouldn’t be Bagsta69 if I wasn’t bitching like a girl about something. Maria says I'm “a little bit grumpy” lol.
To be honest when I'm gaming online with Bev were like Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet show.

 To be fair despite my mumbling grumbling and bitching about all the flaws in the game I'm loving it. Favourite mode is Kill confirmed but after over 50 hours on that mode when I play other modes I forget and still run out to grab the non existent tags.
Last night I went positive on all my nemesis maps as well including village, the other team must have been really bad because I seriously suck on that map.
Picked up an extra shift at the hospital tonight till 01.00 hours, mainly because I have no idea how much the Truck repair is gonna be.
Oh well I guess I best go and feed myself before I waste away (pause for laughter) and so to today’s drivel,
“If history repeats itself, and the unexpected always happens, how incapable must Man be of learning from experience, and remember No man is exempt from saying silly things; the mischief is to say them deliberately.”
Peace out y'all THE BAGSTAXXX

Friday, 27 January 2012

Trifle, Asteroids and akimbo is booty!!!


Hello interweb, and how are we today? I’m cold and still have no Truck and the forecast is for snow soon so I’m getting a trifle worried.
Which reminds me I have a trifle in the fridge which needs to be consumed by the end of the day? Oh the horror, a whole trifle that needs eating, how will I manage.
After yesterdays post about celestial happenings in the coming year the universe throws me another curve ball just to prove how unpredictable it can be by lobbing an asteroid close to Earth.
A small asteroid will make an extremely close pass by Earth Friday (Jan. 27 That's today), coming much nearer than the moon, but the space rock poses no danger of impacting our planet. So no you can't knock off work early.
The newfound asteroid 2012 BX34, which is about the size of a bus, will pass within 36,750 miles (59,044 kilometers) of Earth at about 10:30 a.m. EST (1530 GMT) Friday,
The space rock is about 36 feet (11 meters) wide, making it much too small to pose a threat to Earth.
"It wouldn't get through our atmosphere intact even if it dared to try,"
In other news I was checking up on the state of patches and hot fixes etc for Modern Warfare 3 when on the forum I came across a new language, one that seems to populate forums quite a lot and I imagine if people were to speak it in public it would also involve a lot of teeth sucking and hand gestures.
If anybody is aware of what the fuck “ya ur ding good...akimbo is booty” means please feel free to enlighten me in English.
There is a lot of complaining going on at the minute but to give you an idea of how serious some of the complaints are, the following had me literally crying with laughter.
One individual was complaining that it wasn’t fair when you were playing against the African team as they were thinner and so the hit box wasn’t so big. HAHAHAHAHAHA, really? Here’s a ball kid.......... go and bounce it.
Anyway I have been musing on what has become of our society here in blighty and how it is changing and not for the better I fear. You see I feel that in a free society it is safe to be unpopular. I’m unpopular and I feel safe for the minute but I do feel that my security is slowly eroding and I find myself having to think about the consequences of my actions be they physical or in the form of the written word.
Then I remember that life isn’t a measurement of years and conforming to the normal state of affairs, it’s about taking risks and going out on a limb for things you believe in. if you don’t jump you’ll never fly.
Peace out yall, THE BAGSTAXXX