Monday, 30 May 2011

Jewish gyms and America's hardest!!!!!

Good afternoon world, well another bank holiday Monday and it’s pissing it down, no surprise there then but this has meant the cancellation of the BBQ at the West End Pub damn it!!!! Bagsta is not at all happy about this state of affairs and will be having words with celestial beings before the day is out.
Still getting up far too early at the moment but it seems to be getting later by around 15 minutes per day.
Went to try out that newish gym today, no that is not a spelling error I did not mean Jewish gym I meant a gym that had not been there very long.
It was full of all kinds of strange looking machines, many of which I'm sure could be used as implements of torture and yes I can see the irony in that statement thank you.
It’s actually OK, all the latest kit, personal trainers on hand if needed ready with advice etc and if you want to there is even a sun bed.
The main weights area did remind me a bit of America’s hardest prisons though, what with the many tattooed muscle clad never smiling look at me I'm a reeet hard bastard ethnic minorities sitting there lifting small houses with one arm.
I love fucking with these guys, I stare at them and smile, then nod my head and say “hi how ya doing?” they tend to look around as if your talking to someone else then look all confused that you had the balls to even look at them never mind talk to them. Hours of fun.
So now I sit here writing a blog entry and thinking of Manta Rays. Be a while before I forget that experience. Off to see Nick, Kate, Hannah and Bradley the beast later. Not sure who scares me more, Hannah or Bradley to be honest, Both can look kinda angelic one minute then turn into the spawn of Satan at the drop of a hat although Bradley seems to have chilled somewhat in his old age, I wonder if I will?
And on that thought, catch ya laters.
Peace out y’all. The BAGSTAxxx

Sunday, 29 May 2011

Jet lag, gyms and leprosy!!!

Ok, so I'm now back in the real world and ready to take it on with all guns blazing.... well ok, maybe a little more effort than usual...... OK I'm still here and mobile, sheesh give a guy a break!
Really really bored of the jet lag now. I normally do not see 2 10.00hours in any given 24 hour period but 2 06.00 hours is just a bloody joke.
Got an insurance quote yesterday, pmsl.... an increase of 45%!!!! are they having a laugh? over 10 years no claims no points, an old git and a computer operator (cough cough) who works from home and they quote me £720.00.
It's enough to raise my blood pressure but as I have that down to 146/78 I'm going to breath a lot instead.
According to my scales (which must be wrong) in the last month I have shed 8lbs, now that's a healthy loss over that period of time so why do I still look like a fat paedophile?
This has bothered me to the point of actually joining a gym. I spotted one on my way home from the train station at 02.00 hours the other night which is open 24/7 for £16.99 a month and no contract. Seems like a good deal to me as I can go at very unreasonable hours when all the other freaks and fatties go so as to not scare the normal people. :)
One thing I have noticed is that after 2 weeks away from any proper training I got back on the cross trainer yesterday and pissed 25 minutes of HIIT away with only just breaking a sweat.
This whole no smoking thing has been a real boost to be honest, not the easiest thing in world to do but worth every agonising second of withdrawal.
My skin has started to peel as well now I'm back in Blighty..... I look like I have leprosy. All I need now is Jesus to come by and cure me without so much as a by your leave. "Shekel for an old ex leper"

Waiting on a meeting now for hopefully my next big project which may involve some travel and photography/video work. Watch this space!!!!
Been looking through some of my underwater pics to try and find some colourful ones, this was quite nice,

Maldivian anenome fish, the purple bits are closed anenome, the fish, despite looking similar to clown fish are not clown fish, they have 3 stripes, Todays lesson from Jaque bagstau is now over. Gonna be processing a few more vids and pics of the underwater world soon so if your into that kinda stuff pop back soon. :)
Peace out y'all BAGSTA.xx

Friday, 27 May 2011

Bagsta and Manta Rays:)

 Video footage at the end of this post:)

As many of you know I have recently been to the middle of the Indian ocean for a trip. My main goal on this trip was to swim with manta rays in their own habitat and to see how these great giant creatures react to us as humans in their world.
It is currently the South West monsoon season in the Maldives so trying to get a day where visibility was going to be good was quite tricky. The trips out to Manta Point were only twice a week as well and so I was gonna have to have a good dollop of good fortune.
Well I picked a day, charged a camera grabbed me snorkelling stuff and headed off to the jetty to get on the boat.

 As with all trips of this kind I was also at the mercy of my fellow man/woman who I shall henceforth call morons!After around a 40 minute boat ride we arrived at an area of the ocean called Manta Point, this is an area known to be frequented by Manta Rays. The first thing that one of the spotters saw was a 9 metre long Whale Shark and he indicated that we should jump into the water.
I was second in on this first occasion and as I finished adjusting my mask and looking down I got my first and only glance of this huge gentle giant before the "morons" all dived in and started splashing about and swimming down to try and touch it despite being told not too. Funny thing is, the Whale Shark fucked off very quickly.
Everybody back on the boat. A Ray was spotted and everybody jumped in the water, myself included and started to chase the Ray, erm, maybe not..... it's a Manta Ray and I think it can out swim you. Yet the "morons" thrashed about chasing this poor thing before everybody back on the boat.
This was getting tedious and the same thing happened at the next sighting.
I was starting to lose hope and patience.
The next sighting I was second to last to jump in when a second spotter saw a ray off the opposite side of the boat and suggested I jump in that side.
As I adjusted my mask and started to breath through the snorkel a shadowy apparition glided past me not 10 metres away. I momentarily forgot to breathe but my body reminded me to do so just in time.

I was around 20-30 metres away from the thrashing idiots who were off chasing another ray in the opposite direction, the guide looked at me and gestured if I was ok, I made the ok symbol back and so I was left alone.I was aware of 3 maybe 4 large Mantas below and to the side of me sweeping around and up and down, I simply lay floating in the ocean like a the big whale like thing that I am. It appeared that they were checking me out and circling me as if to ask "why aint he thashing about like the other morons?" closer and closer they swept by me till they were close enough to touch, but I didn't, I was so in awe of these massive gracefull animals I couldnt move.

One in particular glided past me and as it got about 3 metres past turned and came back towards me, It was so big that if id curled myself up into a ball I would have easily fitted in its mouth and Im a big chap. it did this 3 times seeming more and more inquisitive as to why I was leaving it alone and I like to think that I maybe shared a moment with this gracefull giant. Maybe it was the suncream and salt water dripping into my eyes that caused the couple of tears to roll unchecked down my face in my mask or maybe it was something else, I don't really know but I have a whole new respect for these magnificent creatures and a whole new level of disrespect for many of my own race.
I checked out of the water to where the boat was and it appeared I was the last person still in the water, rather than have the "morons" come over and thrash about at my new found friends I decided to swim back to the boat and climb aboard with the biggest smug bastard grin on my face you have ever seen

Peace out y'all The Bagstaxxx

Monday, 9 May 2011

Planes, trains and taxi's!

Planes, trains and taxi's all booked, including seaplane. Getting ready for 24 hours straight travelling. In the middle of trying to pack stuff up into various cases etc for a trip. As in trip abroad as opposed to wow peace man look at all the fabulous colours and why are you turning into a tree. I'm am quite happy to simply pack a few pairs of shorts, jocks and shirts but Fi on the other hand is a much more organised person. This leads me to the monumental task now of packing. We have to have everything separated into two cases so that if one is lost we will still have stuff each to continue our trip. This includes, and this is not an exhaustive list, bandages, plasters, scissors, nail clippers, pain killers, antibiotics, anti shits stuff, anti allergy stuff, mossy spray, tooth fixing stuff, sun cream, after sun, shower gel, hair washy stuff, shaving foam, razor, tooth brushes, cameras and related equipment, chargers, stereo, fins, masks and snorkel, lilo's, all of which take up a full washing basket, so on top of that we have clothing. Anybody would think we were moving house. What usually happens is we fill 2 cases and weigh them, they are over the allowed weight limit so I then begin to remove MY stuff till the weight is within the allowance. I then remove more of MY stuff to make room for the extra stuff Fi NEEDS to take. After much packing repacking unpacking and repacking I'm left with a few pairs of shorts, jocks and shirts.
Security has been beefed at chateaux bagsta till we get back and the final claymores and c4 will be put in place as we leave, must remember to warn the postman.
I am now slipping into total chill mode which means nothing, and I do mean nothing will stress me out, not even flight delays or neighbours parking in front of the house.
I don't think ill be posting for a few days as I will be spending most of it removing MY stuff from suitcases and then there will be the travelling. However If I can be arsed to find an Internet connection whilst I'm away I will drop by and update what travelling BAGSTA has been up too.

Peace out yall, I'm chillin:)xxx

Sunday, 8 May 2011

Lower BP and smug git feeling.

I think im getting the hang of this lower blood pressure malarky. You see normally when I finish a shift at the hospital at 01.00 hours after only a 10m minute break all night for a cup of flowery tea made with nettles (what was I thinking) and get home to see 3 cars parked in front of my house, all of which are visiting my next door neighbour, I would have flown into some sort of dimented rage banging and shouting and revving of engines etc. Instead I calmly pulled up the truck to touch park it against the one bang infront of my house then backed off a couple of cm. locked it and went inside. Had a glass of wine (just the one mrs wembley) then went to bed.
I woke this morning early at around 08.30 hours and got up at 09.00 hours. Called next door to the elderley lady who lives the other side to let her get her car out for church then parked back blocking people in.
I then put on my headphones as I wandered down to the basement to begin a half hour workout and cranked up the volume of the janes addiction album that came on. Whilst pushing hard on the cross trainer I could just hear a lot of slamming of doors and perhaps a lot of knocking on my front door all of which I was oblivious too due to the volume of my ipod. 7K later I glanced down at my bellious giganticus and it had got no smaller. I guess when you reach my age it's harder to move. Not just the fat but the whole body. oh well, as I emerged from the basement the sun shone through the clouds and as I wandered up the driveway the front of my house was clear of cars and I could park in my usual place. No raised blood pressure a smug bastard feeling and steak and eggs upcoming for breakfast followed by F1 from Turkey followed by my last shift at the hospital before holidays.
Sun is still shining and im still feeling smug. LOL
Peace out yall. :)xxx

Saturday, 7 May 2011


Testing testing 123, this is a test please remain seated with your trays in their upright position,

Friday, 6 May 2011

Liver function, lilo's and manta rays!!!

Well, only a few days to go now till I am away from all the stress of everyday life and all those little annoying things that make me so cross and raise my blood pressure. Liver function tests are not too good neither is my plasma/glucose but that is to be expected I guess.
Final preparations are being put in place regarding security of chateaux bagsta etc and the hunt for the lilo's is in full swing. Oh and I need some new swim shorts for my ever expanding gut. lol
I have been doing a little research of the island regarding my quest to swim with Manta rays and whale sharks this year, and it just so happens that the deep channels either side of the island are frequented by both of these majestic creatures.

The island is also visited by dolphins, sting rays, turtles a variety of different sharks and a whole host of tropical fish. But it's the Manta's I'm really going to see. Ive already been swimming with the others but the mantas and whale sharks are going to be amazing.
I'm already getting into holiday mode despite still having 2 shifts at the hospital to complete, several website updates to deal with and invoicing etc.
I will probably still drop by here a couple of times whilst I'm away sipping back ice cold beers in the bar to update you all of my adventures.
Now where is that emoticon for huge fucking grin:)

Wednesday, 4 May 2011

There's a difference between philosophy and a bumper sticker.

Bumper stickers or fender stickers if your reading this from across the pond, I see them all the time and whilst some are very amusing some just piss me right off.
The above gave me a little chuckle to be honest and there are plenty more where that came from.
The kind of stickers that piss me off are the ones that are either on the bumper or in the rear window saying something along the lines of" BABY on Board" well that's not my problem is it, if you'd been more careful and not such a little slapper then you wouldn't be in the predicament your in would you. There really is no need to broadcast to the world what a little slut you are. Or are you trying to tell me that by putting a sticker in your rear view window or on your fender that I will suddenly change the way I'm driving or that I even should change the way I'm driving just because you couldn't keep your legs closed. My god Look a baby on board sticker I must slow down and be extra vigilant about my driving whilst I am in the vicinity of that car there because the occupants can breed.
Fishes are another one. So your a God fearing christian, so what, do you want a medal or something. I worship at The West End pub but I don't drive round with a picture of a pint pot on my bumper do I, and the only thing I fear is my wife.
I'm quite fond of this one as well.
Anyway back to reality and breath....... I sometimes find it disturbing how I view the world and how my mind such as it is works, Been breathing in great big gulps of fresh air today now that I can and managed another 6K on the cross trainer although I have discovered that whilst I am burning off fat and getting fitter, I actually should be doing interval training as this burns fat faster and actually continues to burn fat up to 48 hours after you have stopped exercising.
Did 6K yesterday and walked to the pub as well to meet Ben, I don't see Ben as much as I would like and when we do go for a drink we GO FOR A DRINK! going for a drink with Ben should carry some sort of Government health warning, Every time I tell myself I'm not going to get lathered and every time the jbombs start flowing and I lose hours of my life to an alcohol induced brain blockage. Buy the inevitable kebab and chips with chili sauce, stumble into the house thinking I'm being quiet but we all know a herd of charging bull elephants would be quieter than a drunken bloke trying to get into his house quietly with a kebeb. I have vague recollections of falling up the stairs and swearing under my breath which probably came out more as roar than under my breath and so now I sit here typing this awaiting the inevitable ear bashing when my dearly beloved comes home. Bless her, ill deserve every bit of it and will no doubt apologise profusely but will refrain from saying I wont do it again because that would be a big fat lie. Anyway I wont do it till July because Ben is away till then and if your reading this Ben, cheers for a top night mate and see you in July :)
Peace out yall. :)

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

PSN to come back online this week :)

Information taken from Shacknews.

Though most of the world was focused on royal weddings and terrorist hunts over the last few days, Sony once again made weekend waves with further developments in the ongoing PlayStation Network outage. At a press conference in Japan on Sunday morning, Sony Executive Deputy President Kaz Hirai offered his "sincerest apologies" for the personal data theft, and detailed plans to bring the service back online.
A summary was posted to the PlayStation Blog, which states that some services -- including online gameplay, password resetting, friends lists, PlayStation Home, and chat -- will resume sometime this week. Sony also says that PSN has added several levels of data protection and encryption, more firewalls, and software monitoring to detect intrusions.
The company detailed a few of its make-good offerings that had been teased late last week. As a complimentary offering, Sony will be helping users enroll in identity theft protection services, which will differ by region. Meanwhile, the 'Welcome Back' Appreciation Program includes:
  • "Selected PlayStation entertainment" content for free download; differs by region, details to be shared soon
  • 30 days of free PlayStation Plus service to PlayStation Network users, and 30 days added free to existing PS+ members
  • 30 days free Music Unlimited service for Qriocity subscribers
Gamasutra reports that during the conference, Hirai mentioned that Sony "will consider covering the cost of reissues of new credit cards to affected customers if they wish to do so." He also reiterated that the company is working closely with law enforcement agencies, and said Sony will update with more information from the investigation when they are able.

Carlsberg dont do bank holidays!

Well wow, what a weekend that was, A Royal wedding, four day weekend a fantastic world snooker championship final, fantastic weather and Osama Bin Laden getting a bullet to the head. Carlsberg dont do bank holidays but thought fuck it well put our name on that one. LOL.
But on a more serious note, Ill start with the royal wedding, I'm not really a royalist or anything like that but am glad we have a royal family. It kind of sets us apart from the countries that don't, They may cost us a a shit load of cash but to be honest with you this country wastes a shit load of cash on worse things. I didn't watch it all but caught bits of it and it was good, Watching a horse drawn carriage get escorted down the Mall by cavalry is a sight you don't see too often and I thought it looked great.
I know its getting close to holiday time as I'm waking up earlier each day, I don't normally see two 09.45 hours in one day but I've been getting up at around 07.00-07.30 hours the last few days. I'm sure this is my bodies way of getting me into the habit of getting up at 06.30 hours to watch the sun rise in the middle of the Indian ocean. Just over a week to go now. Ironed all my holiday shirts over the weekend whilst doing some gt5 endurance bspec events as the PSN is still down, hopefully it should be back online this week.
My blood pressure is on it's way down and I can attribute this to several factors really, Probably not one main one but a combination of things. Exercise, well I'm up to around 20 minutes a day on the cross trainer and it actually isn't that bad. I ain't gonna win any marathons but at least I'm getting exercise and 20 minutes takes me around the 6K mark. It's also a lot easier for me than running that distance as there is little if no impact on my ankles and knackered knees.
I have cut out about half of my salt intake and started eating fresh fruit and drinking fruit juices etc. (now my teeth will probably fall out due to acid erosion) . As you all know I have stopped smoking and it has been 2 months 3weeks and 2 days. All that plus the fact that I have actually realised that I have been getting the sensible drinking habits wrong all these years, Apparently you are supposed to drink 1 or 2 glasses of wine a day..... Not 1 or 2 bottles! Ahhhh, now that could have been a contributing factor but I'm not putting too much weight behind that theory. Talking of weight I've lost 2 lbs this week in an attempt to stop greenpeace from trying to push me back in the sea every twenty minutes when I'm on holiday. This sex god couch potato now resembles a sex god lurrrrve potato. Still spud shaped but a honed spud shape. lol.
I'm not going to discuss that fucker Osama Bin Laden too much on my blog today, I may in future just not today, Just know that I am glad that evil fucker is dead and that ST6 put a bullet in his brain instead of having a bloody trial costing millions that would have gone on forever, Some people are saying that he should have been arrested, some people weren't fucking there were they, a firefight that lasted some time, do you really think they're gonna say, "hey don't kill him man, we gotta bring him to justice" fuck that, you get a shot take that fucker down.
I'm sure the conspiracy theorists will now abound, if they put that much effort into getting a real job maybe the world would be a better place and I wouldn't have to pay as many taxes.
Right then, Carpe Diem. Watch out world here I come :)